What are the biggest obstacles to success? Hint: they’re NOT what you think.

When I started my first business almost two decades ago, I thought lack of money, connections, and resources were the biggest obstacles to success. Until I realised no one has everything they need when they start. The real job of an entrepreneur is to solve problems and get whatever resource their need to grow their business.

I then thought the biggest obstacles to success were all the distractions we face every day: the hours spent falling down Facebook black holes, your kids constantly interrupting you 50 times a day with questions, your day job stressing you out… These are threats to your productivity, but you can solve them quickly with good time-management and boundary-setting skills.

The real obstacles to success are within you. The truth is, if you want to reach your next level of success, you need to become the person who can get there – the person who isn’t afraid to take the uncomfortable action you’ve been resisting up until now.

Here are the 3 biggest obstacles to success that are currently keeping you stuck where you are and how to overcome them to reach your goals:

Success Obstacle #1: You’re Afraid Of Success

Everyone’s talking about the fear of failure. But, in my experience in supporting hundreds of entrepreneurs in going to their next business and income level, people are way more afraid of success and the negative consequences of hitting their goals.

Wait, what? How is that possible? Shouldn’t you be over the moon when you reach your goals and you finally get your financial freedom, more time with your family, and everything you desire?

You will be when you get there BUT…

If those desires were stronger than your fears, you’d be there already. If you’re not, it’s time to look at what’s going on in your subconscious mind as you’re working hard to reach those goals.

These are just some of the thoughts my clients are having:

• “I’ll have to work even harder to get there… and I’m already spread so thin.”
• “What if I put myself out there and people find out I’m a fraud?”
• “Will my partner and friends still like me if I make more money than them?”
• “What if I reach my goal and I can’t handle that level of success?”

Consciously, you think you’re working hard to reach your goals. In reality, these subconscious blocks keep you stuck in busy work and strategy hell, so that what you fear will happen when you make it will never come true!

I learned this the hard way. 5 years ago, I hit an income plateau. I was posting every day on social media, publishing blog posts for SEO, doing webinars and masterclasses, networking… you name it, I was doing it. And yet, my income was NOT growing!

I finally hired a mindset coach and what came up in our first session changed the game for me: I was afraid that, if I made more money than my friends and partner, they wouldn’t like me anymore and they’d leave me.

That belief got me stuck in busy work and spreading myself so thin that nothing had the chance to gain momentum and grow (while I thought I was doing all the right things!).

When I broke through that subconscious block, I ditched busy work, focused on the big moves I had been scared to make and DOUBLED MY INCOME WITHIN 3 MONTHS – and my partner and friends didn’t leave me.

If you don’t have what you want yet, there’s a horror story you’re telling yourself. What are you afraid will happen when you reach your goals?

How To Overcome It

The first step is to identify the horror story you’re telling yourself. Your brain wants you to stay stuck where you are, so that story will never come true. But in doing so, it keeps you from reaching your next level of success.

Here’s the truth: your brain can’t predict your future. Whatever you’re afraid will happen is not based on reality. It’s based on past experiences, other people’s opinions, the messages you’ve picked up from the media…

My partner and friends never said they wouldn’t like me anymore if I were more successful than them. That fear came from being bullied at school for being too smart. I was too young to understand what was going on, so I made up a story that, if I were more successful than other people, they wouldn’t like me anymore and they’d leave me.

My brain was using that past experience to predict my future. When I realised that, I was able to consciously break that pattern and create a new story – a story where I could be successful AND loved.

Success Obstacles #2: Your Nervous System Is Dysregulated

Tell me if this sounds familiar: you know what your limiting beliefs are, where they’re coming from, and have done a lot of mindset work to reframe them. You’re doing a visualisation every morning, questioning your thoughts, and chanting affirmations as you brush your teeth. And you believe you don’t need more mindset work than this.

Except…

When the time comes to take uncomfortable action, be it pressing the “go live” button on Instagram or negotiating a big deal with investors, you freeze. You start thinking about all the reasons why it’s not a good idea and, before you know it, your brain has talked you out of it.

The live didn’t happen…

The negotiation didn’t go in your favour…

And you’re wondering how you can still be in this place when you’ve done so much mindset work. So frustrating!

Here’s the truth: mindset work does NOT work when your nervous system is dysregulated.

You can repeat affirmations till doomsday, but if you don’t feel safe to take action in the moment, you won’t. This sense of fear when there’s no rational reason to be afraid, is called nervous system dysregulation.

Let me explain what this means. When you’re in danger, your body activates the fight, flight, or freeze response to protect you. This happened to me when I was being bullied at school. I couldn’t fight my bullies or run away from school, so my only option was to freeze. I stopped raising my hand and answering the teachers’ questions even when I had the answer.

Freezing kept me safe as a child, so the body recorded that response as positive. From that moment on, every time the threat of bullying (whether real or imaginary) came up, my body would go into freeze mode.

Next thing I know, I’m about to go on live on Instagram and freeze. My mind’s flooding with reasons why I should give up.

• It’s too late to do a live now…
• Not enough people are on at this time…
• I should rehearse what I’m going to say one more time…

If your body doesn’t feel safe to take action in the moment, no amount of mindset work is going to change things. 

You’re not lazy. You’re not flaky. And you’re not uncommitted. Your body is simply protecting you from the past repeating itself. But in doing so, it keeps you from creating the future you want.

How To Overcome It

Successful entrepreneurs have learnt how to regulate their nervous system, so that fear doesn’t stop them when they’re about to walk on stage or take bold action.

They still feel the nerves (did you know that excitement and fear feel the same in your body?), but they’re excited to take action towards their goals – and they do it with confidence!

So how do you regulate your nervous system? You remove the emotional charge from the negative memory that triggered the fight, flight, or freeze response in the first place.

You do that by emotionally processing what you weren’t allowed to feel at the time the original event happened. It’s uncomfortable. Sometimes painful. And it’ll free you forever.

This is just a quick tool to reprogramme your nervous system. I share more tools in The Leadership Advantage, a proven system to reach any goal in 90 days. Step 3 of the process is getting rid of the emotional charge attached to unpleasant memories, so you can feel safe to take the uncomfortable action you’ve been putting off until now – and finally get the results you want quicker than you thought possible. Join us here.

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Success Obstacle #3: You’re NOT Showing Up As A Leader

Being the leader of your business isn’t the same as being the owner of the business… or even the person running it.

Most female entrepreneurs work in their business, doing all the things – apart from the ones that actually help them grow their business and get them the results they want!

• They create their own website… and tweak it a little here and there every week.
• They create all their social media posts and run all their channels themselves.
• They reply to all their emails – and check them 100 times a day.
• They write all their blog posts, podcast show notes, and newsletters.

These tasks need to get done, but they DON’T need to be done by you. Anything that doesn’t generate revenue and moves the needle forward towards your goals should be either outsourced, delegated, or automated.

The truth is, no one will buy from you because you post every day on Instagram or reply to every email. People buy from you when you show up as the LEADER of your business. Being the leader means:

• Using your voice and speaking up about what you believe in – even though you will upset some people.
• Being in love with your business and confident you can help people, so you can sell every day without feeling icky.
• Being courageous and taking (calculated!) risks, like investing in masterminds or expanding in a different niche, most people wouldn’t take.
• Showing up and taking uncomfortable action every single day, even when you don’t feel like it, because you know it’ll get you closer to your goals.
• Being vulnerable to share your successes and your struggles and let people see the authentic you – without filters and shame.
• Having the guts to ask influencers and promotional partners to collaborate with you – even when they have a much bigger audience.

This is what builds the influence and authority that inspires people to work with you – not hiding behind a pile of work at your desk. How many of these traits do you have?

How To Overcome It

Strategy alone won’t get you the results you want – and working harder at something that doesn’t work isn’t going to lead you anywhere either.

If you want to reach your next level in your business, you need to become the person who can do the things you’re uncomfortable doing now – with ease and confidence.

Mindset work and nervous system regulation practices help you get started. But what often happens, people take uncomfortable action once or twice… and then they stop.

Let’s say you were afraid of going live. After doing the mindset and nervous system regulation work, you go live once, realise you didn’t die, and vow to go live three times a week. The first week, you keep your word. The second week, something comes up and before you know it, you go live only every now and then.

This is no accident. Your brain now knows you won’t die, but it’s not used to you showing up this way, so it generates obstacles in your way to get you to go back to your previous level – back to your comfort zone.

If you want to go to your next level of success, you need to make the new behaviour a daily practice. It must first become a habit. Then, the habit must become your identity.

Once you become the confident leader who shows up confidently every day, success is inevitable.

Wrapping It Up

Fear of success, nervous system dysregulation, and not showing up as leader are the three biggest obstacles to success – but they’re not insurmountable. Break through your limiting beliefs, rewire your nervous system, and develop habits that allow you to show up as a leader and you’ll reach success a lot faster than you ever thought possible.

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