How many times have you thought of starting a podcast, hosting a retreat, giving a TedTalk… only to talk yourself out of it ten minutes later?
I had the idea of becoming a transformational coach in 2016… and completely ignored it for 4 years! My heart was telling me this was my calling. But my head was shouting:
“Who do you think you are, Marie Forleo?”
“There are so many other great coaches out there. Why would anyone pick you?”
“What if it doesn’t work out and you end up broke and homeless?”
Why is it easier to talk yourself OUT of your goals than INTO them? If something excites you, shouldn’t your mind help you find ways to make it happen?
Here’s the real reason why you talk yourself out of your goals and how to stop it, so you can finally take action towards them – and reach them:
Why You Talk Yourself Out Of Your Goals
Your brain has evolved to keep you safe. Back when we were living in caves, if you did something your community didn’t approve of, you could have been cast out, exiled, and killed.
That’s very unlikely to happen today. Yet, when your family starts pointing out everything that could go wrong when you expand into a new niche or you think about the criticism you could get if you do an interview series on YouTube, your brain triggers the alarm.
This is all unconscious, by the way. It happens so fast, you don’t even realise the brain has associated your big goal with the threat of exile! Next thing you know, you come up with all kinds of perfectly valid reasons why you shouldn’t do it.
These reasons can sound like:
- I’m not good/smart/pretty/whatever enough to do this.
- I don’t have enough money or resources for this.
- This isn’t the right time to try something new.
At the core, these reasons come down to: “I don’t have what it takes to reach this goal, to come up with the money or resources, to be successful in my current circumstances.”
Every time you believe these lies, your confidence takes a hit. The more often you reinforce this pattern, the sooner it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Every time you have a new idea, those negative beliefs surface again, talking yourself out of doing work you love. You thought you couldn’t make it… and you proved yourself right.
Your mind isn’t a fortune teller. Just because it’s afraid you’ll be criticised, exiled, or hurt, it doesn’t mean that’s what will happen.
When you’re talking yourself out of doing something, you’re not protecting yourself. You’re robbing yourself of the life you could be living and other people of your gifts.
You can be right about not being good enough or you can have a thriving business and the financial, location, and time freedom that comes with it. Which one are you going to choose?
How To Stop Talking Yourself Out Of Your Big Income And Business Goals
Want to finally make that big goal happen? Here are the steps to take:
1. Create A SMART Goal
The more vague your goal is, the more “reasons” your mind can come up with why it’ll never work.
Let’s say you’re dreaming of making millions with your coaching business. If you don’t have a clear strategy to make it happen and a way to measure results, how will know when you get there? You don’t, and so even when money starts coming in, you’ll always feel like you’re falling short and not being good enough.
Instead, set a SMART goal. SMART goals are:
- Specific: What exactly do you want to accomplish? Be as specific and as detailed as possible.
- Measurable: How can you track it? How will you know when you get there?
- Achievable: Is this something you can do with the resources available to you and in the time frame you have? If not, what part of that goal can you achieve now?
- Relevant: Is this appropriate for the current level of business you are at? Is it connected to your vision and what you want to achieve in this season of your life?
- Time-bound: What’s the deadline to make it happen?
When I started my business, I knew I wanted podcasting to be one of my main marketing strategies. So I set a goal to “launch my podcast with 7 episodes ready to go within 90 days”. It’s SMART because it’s:
- Specific: I know exactly what I want to achieve.
- Measurable: It’s easy to measure and know if I’ve reached it.
- Attainable: I knew I had all the resources I needed to do it.
- Relevant: It’s relevant to the marketing plan for my coaching business.
- Time-oriented: It has a clear deadline.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Grab pen and paper and answer these questions:
- What is your vision for your business?
- What’s the first goal you need to achieve to make that vision come true?
- Turn that goal into a SMART goal and take daily action towards it.
2. Create A Possibility Mindset
Doubts slow you down. If you doubt you have what it takes, if you believe you’ll have to work 24/7 to get there, or if you have any fears about reaching your goals…
Then you’ll keep second-guessing your decisions, procrastinate on taking action, and feel like you’ll never get there without a lot money, the right connections, and more time – which seem impossible to get!
The successful entrepreneurs you admire experience the same doubts and challenges as you. They just don’t let them stop them. They know that, if they have a desire, there’s a way to make it happen.
If they don’t have the money, they ask themselves, “how can I make money for this quickly?”
If they don’t have the time, they ask themselves, “what can I delegate or quit, so I can find the time?”
If they lack the connections, they ask themselves, “who do I know or what can I do to connect with the people who can help me?”
If they’re working too hard without seeing results, they ask themselves, “how can I make this fun and easy?”
Success starts with a possibility mindset. When you have a possibility mindset, you start seeing opportunities where others only see obstacles.
When I set the goal to launch my podcast, I had no idea how to make it happen. I didn’t know what tech was required. I had never interviewed anyone before. I had no idea how to get my podcast into Spotify. Or who would be a guest on my show.
But I knew I could figure it out. And I did. I enrolled in a podcasting course that gave me a step-by-step plan on how to launch a podcast. I reached out to my network to find guests. I enrolled my ex-partner into being my editor. I asked everyone I knew to spread the word about it once it launched.
I didn’t have it all figured out. I figured it all out along the way.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Think of the SMART goal you set in the previous step.
- What do you need (think money, resources, connection, time etc) to make it happen?
- Make a list of all possible ways to get what you need. Don’t censor yourself. At this stage, you just want to train your brain to look for solutions, not limitations.
- Pick one or two solutions you can implement right now and go do them!
3. Become The Person Who Can Reach Your Goal
You can reach your goals – faster than you ever thought possible and by working less than you think you should. You now have the how. You’ve just made a list of things you could do to get the money, resources, and time you need to reach your goal.
And, if you’re like 99% of humans, your brain just talked you out of doing most of them! Most of the things on that list – the things that’d get you results faster (like asking your family for a loan or putting yourself forward for a speaking gig) are too uncomfortable.
Strategies alone won’t get you far. For the strategies to work, you also need to become the person who can implement those strategies.
Who do you need to be to implement that strategy? Do you need to be vulnerable and ask for a loan? Do you need to be courageous and put yourself forward for a speaking gig? Do you need to be focused until you finish your task?
Courage, vulnerability, focus and other personal traits are skills. The more you flex that muscle, the sooner you’ll become the person who can achieve your goal – and the easier the journey will be.
The podcast course I took gave me the strategy. But putting it into practice was uncomfortable. I had to develop the courage to reach out to people and ask them to be guests on my show and promote it. The vulnerability to be ok with making mistakes and mispronouncing words (English isn’t my first language). The commitment to keep going as all my fears came up.
In the process, I became the confident podcaster who inspires thousands to take action towards their goals, too.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Now you have your goal and the strategy to get there. Now answer these questions:
- Who do you need to be to implement that strategy?
- What can you do to embody that person now?
4. Create Accountability
Did you know you are more likely to achieve your goals if you tell others about them? But, there’s a catch: you need to tell people who are supportive and won’t destroy your dreams into a thousand little pieces like your inner critic does.
The reason is simple: reaching your next goal requires you to do something you’ve never done before. And for that to happen, you must become the person who can achieve that goal.
When I decided to launch my podcast, I had a coach and an accountability buddy keeping me on track. Could I have done it without them? Possibly. But it would have taken me so much longer. In fact, it took me two years just to get started. That’s how long I had been dreaming of having a podcast!
But every time I thought of taking action on it, all my fears came up. What if I mispronounced words and made a fool of myself? What if wasn’t any good at interviewing people? What if I put myself out there and no one would listen to my podcast?
All those fears came up as I started working on my podcast. But my coach and accountability buddy wouldn’t let me buy into them. They helped me to break through those fears and take action towards my goal every day. With their help, I launched my podcast in 90 days – after 2 years of procrastination!
This is why I’ve embedded accountability tools all over The Leadership Advantage, my proven system to reach your big business goals in 90 days. The Leadership Advantage provides you with practical mindset strategies and more accountability than you’ve ever seen in any other programme to create measurable results in your business within 3 months – without hustling.
My clients have filled in coaching practices, sold out founder member spots in a brand new membership, doubled their income, been featured in Buzzfeed – all within 60 to 90 days! If you’re tired of just another online course or mastermind and want a proven system that works, join us here.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Now you have your goal, know what strategy you’ll implement and who you need to become to get there, ask yourself:
- Who will hold you accountable?
- How will this person hold me accountable?
- Reach out and make your request.
Wrapping It Up
When I stopped talking myself out of having a podcast, I was able to launch it within 90 days – and I got my first high-ticket client a week later on the back of it! The same is possible for you. When you talk yourself into your goals, instead of out of them, they come true – and you become the confident leader who can make anything happen.