Failure is when you talk yourself out of becoming something amazing.
How many times have you dreamt of doing a job you love, only to talk yourself out of it ten minutes later?
I did this. All. The. Time.
I’ve been wanting to be a writer for as long as I can remember, but I told myself writers make no money. I’m not good enough to be the next Stephen King. My book ideas are just boring…
Same thing happened when I decided to become a life purpose coach. I had butterfly in my stomach just thinking about it. I dreamed of helping people achieve their purpose, writing articles that inspired them to take action on their dreams and create a movement that changed lives.
And then I told myself I didn’t have what it takes to do it. I didn’t have the qualifications. I had no idea where to start. I didn’t think anyone would pay me for it. And what was a life purpose coach anyway? Time to go back to planet Earth, Giorgia.
I know you’re doing the same. You have an idea you’re super excited about, but then your mind goes into overdrive and comes up with all kinds of reasons why you can’t do it.
I’m a big believer you wouldn’t have that dream if you didn’t have what it takes to make it happen. So, why do you talk yourself out of your dream job?
Why You Talk Yourself Out Of Your Dream Job
Let me introduce you to your Inner Mean Girl.
She’s that voice in your head that pipes up and tells you you’re not good/talented/smart/whatever enough. She thinks that all your ideas sucks. She picks apart anything you to do find holes in it and comes up with all kinds of worst case scenarios that could happen if you’re reckless enough to go ahead with your plans.
If you let your Inner Mean Girl talk freely, she’ll destroy your confidence and convince you not to take action on your dreams and goals. You let her talk yourself out of things.
But here’s the kicker: your Inner Mean Girl isn’t a fortune teller. She has no idea of what will happen in the future. Heck, she’s not even a good judge of character, or she’d know you’re capable of much more than she gives you credit for.
Every time you let your Inner Mean Girl talk you out of your dream job (or anything else, for that matter), you create a vicious circle.
You’re telling your brain that you believe her lies. You believe you’re not talented enough, that your idea isn’t good, that you don’t have what it takes to succeed.
Before you know it, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Every time you have a new idea, those negative beliefs surface again, talking yourself out of doing work you love. You thought you couldn’t make it… and you proved yourself right.
But… it doesn’t feel good, does it? All this picking your dreams and yourself apart, all the inaction and the procrastination, only lead to regret.
Do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering what if?
I don’t want that for you. I want you to realise your full potential and have the job you’ve always dreamed of.
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How To Stop Talking Yourself Out Of Your Dream Job
You can have the job of your dreams. You just need to learn how to shut your Inner Mean Girl up, so you can listen to your heart instead. Here’s how:
1. Define Success On Your Terms
Your Inner Mean Girl loves vague goals and dreams. The more vague it is, the more “reasons” she can come up with why they’ll never work.
When I was dreaming of becoming a writer, she loved to tell me I’ll never have any money. “Only 1% of writers make it big,” she would say, “and you’re not Stephen King.”
She was right. But guess what? I never wanted to be the next Stephen King. All I wanted to do was write articles and books that inspire women to go after their dreams.
That’s my definition of success. And that’s the dream I’m living today. Right this very minute, I’m writing an article to inspire you to stop listening to your Inner Mean Girl and let her talk you out of doing what you love.
It may not be the traditional definition of a writer, so what? It fulfills me, and that’s enough.
Whatever you dream of doing with your life, be as specific as possible. What do you want your career to look like?
Don’t let your Inner Mean Girl put you off goals you never meant to achieve in the first place. Define success on your own terms and go after it – your way.
2. Create A Possibility Mindset
Before you take action towards your dream job, you need to believe it’s possible for you. You need a possibility mindset.
When you have a possibility mindset, you start seeing opportunities where others only see obstacles. And when a real obstacle comes your way (and they will!), you’ll find ways to overcome them. You know everything is possible.
So, how do you create a possibility mindset? Here are a few tricks:
- Read biographies of people who did what you want to do
- Listen to inspirational podcast interviews
- Watch TedTalks and motivational videos on YouTube
- Join a member’s club or a networking organization
- Surround yourself with people who are living their dreams
- Write positive affirmations about your career
You get the idea. Most of us hang out with people who come up with all kinds of excuses about why it’s dangerous to follow your dreams. We consume media that criticizes successful people and points out everything that’s going wrong with the world. Of course, we give up before we try.
What if you stopped doing all that and only allowed positive people and stories into your life? When you hang around people who’ve done what you want to do (even if only through books and podcasts), you start believing it’s possible for you, too.
3. Start Before You’re Ready
Now you know what you want to do with your life, don’t wait until all the stars align. Start before you’re ready.
Let’s say you want to become a life coach. Don’t put things off until you have your qualifications. By all means, get one.
But in the meantime, go out and find people to coach for free. Network and figure out who your ideal client is and what their struggles are. Buy a domain name and start setting up your blog.
Waiting until you’re ready is just another form of procrastination. Success happens when you do little things that take you out of your comfort zone every day.
4. Create Accountability
Did you know you are more likely to achieve your dreams if you tell others about them?
But, there’s a catch: you need to tell people who are supportive and won’t destroy your dreams into a thousand little pieces like your Inner Mean Girl does.
Find a friend, coach, or family member who’s supportive, open-minded, and good at giving feedback. You want someone who can identify problems with your idea and give you both feedback and confidence on how to overcome them.
If you don’t have anyone in your life right now, join Facebook groups or go out and network. In the meantime, virtual mentors work, too.
The world is full of people who want to support you and your dreams. Go find them, gorgeous.
Over to you, now. What are you going to do to stop talking yourself out of your dream job? Share your thoughts in the comments below.