Stop Focusing On What You Don't Want – The Treasures Within

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Stop Focusing On What You Don’t Want (And What To Do Instead)

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Hi there! I'm Giorgia, a mindset coach + healer on a mission to help you heal self-sabotage, so you can build a wildly profitable business from your passions.

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How are you sabotaging your business success?

Take the quiz to discover the real reason YOU don't have the business success, clients, and money you want yet. What could you achieve if you healed that?

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stop focusing on the negative

Tell me if you’ve noticed the same:

You ask your friends what their dream business is and they start listing all the things they don’t want…

“I don’t want to be stuck in a cubicle 8 hours a day anymore.”

“I don’t want to niche down and do just one thing forever.”

“I don’t want to do sales call all day and constantly find new leads.”

It’s good to know what your boundaries are. But that wasn’t the question, was it?

The question was, “What the heck is it that you DO want?!”

….

Cue blank stares and deer caught in headlines faces.

They don’t know.

When you spend all your time focusing on what you don’t want, you have no idea what you do want. You just… never thought about it.

And that’s a HUGE problem…

If you truly want the results you say you want, the first thing to do is to stop focusing on the negative. Here’s why:

pieces of paper and coffee

You Get What You Focus On (So Stop Focusing On The Negative!)

You get what you focus on.

I learned this first hand in my late teens. I’d spend hours reading women’s magazines (social media wasn’t a thing yet) and comparing myself to the beautiful models and actresses that graced their pages.

They didn’t have a trace of cellulite on their thighs. Their pearly whites were so white they could blind someone. And their locks so thick and shiny, they could style them in curls that lasted for days. They were everything I was not.

I started to wear full-length jeans even in the heat of a torrid Italian summer to hide my dimpled skin. I rarely smiled so no one would notice my yellowish teeth. And I cursed my flat, thin hair every time I combed it. It couldn’t even hold a curl for one hour, if the tiniest whiff of wind was around…

I lived like this for years. Every photo on those magazines confirmed my belief I was ugly. And so I acted like I was ugly.

Something changed in my early 20s as magazines lost ground to beauty blogs. Now that I was interacting with real, normal people who weren’t Photoshopped into plastic dolls, what I saw looking in the mirror changed.

My “flaws” were still there. But now they looked normal. It was the poreless skin, the uber-white teeth, and the extension-enhanced locks that looked… fake. 

What happened? 

My body hadn’t changed. My focus had. While before I was scrutinizing my body for every little imperfection (what I DIDN’T want), now I barely gave it a second look.

I  was too busy playing around with makeup, making friends with girls all over the world and even starting a beauty blog of my own (what I DID want).

It’s the same with business, relationships, or everything else. 

If you focus on all the things your partner is doing “wrong,” you miss out on all the little things he’s doing right. And before you know it, you break up and wonder why you can’t find a good guy.

If you keep complaining about the risk of entrepreneurship and the financial instability, you’ll never start your own business. You stay stuck in your cubicle, wondering why life is passing you by.

Do you understand now why you need to stop focusing on the negative and start focusing on what you truly want instead?

Related: 5 Things To Remember When You Feel Lost Or Stuck In Life



stop focusing on what you don't want 02

Stop Looking For Proof Of What You Don’t Want

Deep down, you know what you want to do with your life, what business you want to build. How do I know?

I’ve worked with so many people who felt lost and had no idea of what to do with their life. But during our sessions, they’d all mention their dream business in passing… and then promptly discontinued it 5 seconds later, listing all the reasons why it’s a stupid idea.

“That will never work…”

“Every time I start a new project, something usually happens to screw it up…”

“My friend started a business years ago and failed….”

You see what’s happening here? 

You’re so focused on the negatives, your brain literally starts to collect “proof” that all your negative beliefs – about yourself, your business, everyone else – are true… even if you they aren’t!

You’ve never done it before, so how can your brain know it won’t work out? The opposite – that it will work out better than you ever thought possible – is just as likely to be true.

So, why do you stop focusing on the negative?

How The Brain’s Reticular Activating System Determines What You Focus On (And Your Results)

Your brain is bombarded by millions of pieces of information every day. How do you know what to focus on, what’s important for you to notice and what you can safely ignore?

Enter the Reticular Activating System (RAS). This bundle of nerves acts like a search algorithm for your brain.

The RAS takes that one thing that focus on and actively looks for it, so that’s all you notice. This happens without you even knowing it.

If you’re thinking of buying a red car, all of a sudden you see red cars everywhere. In reality, there are cars of all colours around you, but the RAS filters them out.

It’s the same for your beliefs. If you believe you don’t have what it takes to build your dream business, your RAS will start looking for proof of that. It’ll point out every little mistake you make, completely ignoring all your huge wins, talents, and accomplishments.

What if you could collect proof that the opposite of what you believe is true? That you do have what it takes to build your dream business?

Good news: you can. 

Related: How To Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind For Success

notepad and pen

How To Stop Focusing On What You Don’t Want

The key to stop focusing on what you don’t want is to reprogramme the RAS with positive filters that look for proof you have what it takes to build your dream business. Here’s how:

1. Celebrate Your Accomplishments

Do you ever stop to celebrate what you’ve accomplished, or the minute something is done, you jump straight to the next goal?

I remember when I self-published my first skincare book. I had worked on it for months and couldn’t wait for it to finally come out.

The second I got the email it was live on Amazon, I started jumping around in my bed like a mad woman. That evening, I went out to dinner with my boyfriend to celebrate. I was so excited, I couldn’t stop smiling all night.

The next morning, I was back at work as usual, ready to pursue my next goal. I should have still been excited about publishing the book. Instead, I felt nothing…

Here’s why:

It takes a lot of time, effort, and dedication to reach any goal – be it publishing a book, getting your first client, or launching a podcast.

When you don’t celebrate (or under-celebrate), you send a message to your brain that what you did wasn’t as important, that your success was a fluke, that anyone could have done it.

Instead of helping you build trust in yourself, your accomplishments pass you by. You’ve achieved so much in your life and you don’t even know it.

Get in the habit of celebrate all your wins, big and small. Every time you focus on an accomplishment, you’re teaching your RAS to look out for them. Overtime, you’ll naturally look for proof of why you CAN do something, not why you can’t.

TAKE ACTION NOW

Grab pen and paper and write down all your accomplishments. Think of:

  • The jobs you got
  • The skills you’ve learned
  • The challenges you’ve overcome
  • The awards you’ve won
  • The projects you’ve completed
  • The goals you’ve reached
  • And anything else that comes to mind

Then, come up with a ritual to celebrate each accomplishment on that list – and any future win, big or small. Here are a few ideas:

  • Go out to dinner at one of your fave restaurants
  • Buy yourself flowers
  • Treat yourself to a pedicure or spa day
  • Buy something on your wishlist
  • Take a bubble bath

2. Practice Gratitude

If you’re like most people, your RAS is focusing on all the things you don’t have.

“I don’t have the money to invest in mindset coaching.”

“I don’t have a big following on Instagram.”

“I don’t have space in my house to set up my podcasting studio.”

When you focus on what you don’t have, that’s all you see. You’re living in lack of all the time – completely ignoring all the way you’re already abundant.

A gratitude practice is the quickest way to help you realise all the good things that are already in your life – so the universe can send you even more abundance.

TAKE ACTION NOW

Every morning, jot down 10 things you’re grateful for. Think of:

  • Your health
  • Your loved ones
  • Your job
  • Money in your bank account
  • Being alive!
  • The good little things that happened the day before.
  • Beautiful weather.
  • Running water in your house.
  • Your connections.
  • Your (hard and soft) skills and talents.
  • Your character traits.
  • The accomplishments you’ve already achieved in business.
  • The challenges you’ve overcome and what they taught you.
  • Anything else you can think of.

When you focus on what you have, you realise you already have everything it takes to build your dream business.

3. Feed Your Brain With Positivity

The last way to stop focusing on what you don’t want is to surround yourself with as much positivity as possible.

If you hang out with people who think building a business is risky or who see risks instead of opportunities, their negativity will seep into your brain too.

Same is true for any music you listen to, movies you watch, books you read… When you feed your brain negativity in whatever form, your brain focuses on limitations, not possibilities. After a while, that’s all you see.

You know by now the opposite is also true. When you hang out with people who are making their dreams come true, listen to interviews where entrepreneurs share how they’ve overcome their challenges, read personal development books, your brain will start focusing on how you too can reach your goals.

The more you saturate your mind with positivity, the sooner you’ll teach your RAS to feed you proof of why you can accomplish everything you set your mind, too.

TAKE ACTION NOW

Create your supportive environment:

  • Join Facebook groups
  • Read self-help books
  • Listen to inspiring podcasts
  • Take an online course
  • Enrol in a group programme or mastermind
  • Listen to motivational music
  • Attend personal development seminars
  • Write affirmations on a piece of paper and hang them up all over your house

Wrapping It Up

You get what you focus on. Stop focusing on what you don’t want and start focusing on what you do want. The more you focus on your dreams, opportunities, and possibilities, the sooner your brain will realise they’re possible for you and help you achieve them.

Have you tried all the business strategies to get more clients and make more money, but nothing’s working? If you’re ready to drop the hustle and work on the ONE thing that’s really going to get you the results you crave – your mindset -, book your FREE Breakthrough Call with me.

In the call, you will:

  • Get 1:1 coaching to identify the missing piece to your business success, so you can get out of strategy hell, ditch the hustle, and book ideal clients with ease.
  • A clear, aligned strategy to get out of your own way, step into your 6+ figures mindset, and scale your impact + income in 90 days.
  • A simple step you can take immediately to get into aligned action, so you can make 2023 the year you finally reach those big income + biz goals that have eluded you up until now.

This is also an exclusive opportunity for service-based fempreneurs to ask me any questions you have, see if we’re a good fit to work together, and find out how I can support you in making 2023 the year you finally make it big.

Spaces are strictly limited. If you’re seeing this, there’s still a space for you. Click here to book your spot now.

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I'm Giorgia, mindset coach and healer on a mission to help you heal self-sabotage, so you can finally reach the big biz + income goals that have eluded you up until now.

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how are you sabotaging your biz success?

Take the quiz to discover the real reason YOU don't have the business success, clients, and money you want yet. What could you achieve if you healed that?

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