I’m only 37 and I’ve already had two middle life crises.
When I was little, I wanted to become a teacher. But as I was studying to get my degree, it became clear it wasn’t the right fit for me. I wanted to spend my days inspiring students to become the best version of themselves, not filling in useless paperwork and participating in pointless school meetings.
When that dream crushed, I slowly sunk into depression. I felt lost and alone, with no idea of what direction to take next.
I felt so… useless. Surely, God, the universe, or however you call it, hadn’t put me on this planet to just get by. I was meant to do something important. Something that helped people. But… what?
This crisis lasted for years. Until, in my early 30s, I decided to give my passion for writing a go. Why would I have been given this gift if I weren’t meant to use it?
I booked a one-way ticket for London and started a new career as a freelance writer… and hated every second of it.
If even this passion thing wasn’t working, what hope was there? Maybe my friends were right, I should just be realistic and get a job – any job – to pay the bills, like everyone else.
I know that inner conflict between your head and your heart all too well. You desperately want to keep the faith and believe that one good day the heavens will open and reveal what you’re meant to do with your life… but your mind can only see failure and uncertainty.
I’m on the other side now. I’ve finally found my purpose – helping lost, ambitious women like you find your life purpose – and am fulfilling it every day.
If I could go back in time, here are 5 truths about finding your purpose that I’d share with younger Giorgia to make her journey easier (and fun!):
1. Clarity Comes From Action
I spent years wondering about what to do with my life. I’d go through all the pros and cons in my head and try to imagine how each scenario would play out.
What a waste of time!
Like Marie Forleo always says, “clarity comes from engagement, not thought.”
It doesn’t matter how much you think it through in your head, you’ll never know if something is right for you until you try it.
Case in point: my failed freelance writing career. In my mind, it sounded like the perfect career. I’d be doing what I love, pick my clients, work from home, and make a lot of money in the process.
But when I tried it, I realised there were lots of things I didn’t like about this career. Like pitching my ideas to clients. Short deadlines. Chasing invoices to get paid.
I didn’t know about those things, so I couldn’t have anticipated them. Yet, I don’t regret working as a freelance writer.
Even though it wasn’t the right fit for me, it taught me what I didn’t like in a job… and what I liked instead.
I realised why I love writing. It gives me a voice to inspire people to take action to change their life.
I started writing those inspiring articles, put them in a blog, and then got the idea for The Treasures Within.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t have it all figured out. When you start taking action, the next step will reveal itself.
Have no idea what to do with your life? Subscribe to the newsletter below to download to the Purpose Finder Worksheet and find out:
2. You’ll Know The Truth By The Way It Feels
Your mind plays tricks on you, but your body doesn’t.
When you’re out of alignment, you’ll know. You feel a sense of dissatisfaction. Boredom. A restlessness in your body that turns to numbness if you don’t heed it.
But when you’re on the right track, you’ll feel butterflies in your stomach. A sense of excitement. An inner knowing that this is it, this is what you’re meant to be doing with your life.
It lasts a few seconds. Then, your Inner Mean Girl kicks in and starts coming up with all kinds of excuses why you shouldn’t do it.
“You don’t have what it takes. Stop now before you make a fool of yourself.”
“This feels nice, now. But you can’t pay the bills with it. Stop dreaming and get a ‘real’ job.”
“What if this is a fluke? You’ve got lucky once, but it won’t happen again.”
Those are lies. DON’T believe them.
Your Inner Mean Girl wants to keep you safe. It’s scared of anything that’s new – even if it’s positive and feels good to you.
Crazy, isn’t it? But true. You can’t trust your mind when it comes to following your dreams.
So, what can you trust? Your body. If something feels good in your body, if it excites you, follow it.
Don’t ask why. Don’t second guess it. Follow it.
3. Surround Yourself With Positive People
Your Inner Mean Girl will literally throw every excuse in the book at you to stop you from chasing your dreams.
Your friends and family love you, but chances are, they’ll have their reservations, too. Like your Inner Mean Girl, they want to keep you safe.
If you don’t have someone in your corner who believes in you and supports you, you’ll give up.
I’m not joking. Surrounding yourself with positive people is the most important thing you can do to achieve your dreams and goals.
But where to find them? If you currently don’t have anyone in your life, fret not. I didn’t either.
Just go out and find them. Join a networking organization. Or a Facebook group. Take a class. Listen to podcasts. Read self-help books. Follow inspiring people on Instagram (virtual mentors count, too).
When you surround yourself with people who are doing what you dream of doing and take action towards their dreams, you’ll start believing it’s possible for you, too.
4. Get To Know Yourself
I know what you’re thinking: “I know myself, Giorgia. Duh!”
Really? Do you know what’s driving you? What’s your motivation? Your deepest fears? Those limiting beliefs that keep you stuck?
Do you know all this? You’d better, because this stuff can either help you achieve your goals or sabotage them.
I know this all too well. Last year, I noticed that my business had plateaued. No matter what I tried, I couldn’t make it grow and reach my financial goals.
That’s when I hired a coach. Because, I got tired of throwing spaghetti against the wall and if I knew how to fix this, I’d have done it already.
Together, we uncovered that I had a fear of success. By this point, I was already earning double what my partner and closest friends make.
Buried in my subconscious, I had this deep belief that, if I kept growing my business, they’d think I’d become a spoiled rich brat and leave me.
This belief wasn’t based in reality at all. Yet, it was sabotaging all my efforts to reach my goal.
Uncovering these negative beliefs is really tricky and I recommend you working with a coach, if you can. If not, you can start with journaling (I had so many aha moments while doing this!), meditating, reading self-help books, taking personality tests.
Anything that helps you go really deep and confront the truths you can’t see – or don’t want to see.
5. There’s Not Just One Way To Fulfill Your Purpose
One of the thing that paralyzed me when I was looking for my purpose was the idea that, once I’ve found it, that’s it. I’d have to do it for the rest of my life.
Talk about putting pressure on yourself. What if you get it wrong and get stuck with the wrong thing?
You can’t. Just as you keep growing and evolving as a person, your purpose will evolve with you.
I believe your purpose doesn’t change. But the way you fulfill it does.
I know that I’m on this planet to help women find their life purpose, what they’re meant to do with their life.
Today I’m fulfilling this purpose through coaching. I work with women 1-on-1 to help them identify their passions, skills, and values, and how to blend them together to create a purpose-driven business. I also give them the business tools and strategies they need to get started.
In the future, I may do less 1-on-1 work and create group programmes or online courses so that I can reach and impact more people. Or I may start a non-profit organization that helps children from disadvantaged backgrounds fulfill their potential. Or I may become a public speaker or full-time writer, using my voice and words to inspire women to find and pursue their life’s work.
Don’t make yourself wrong for wanting to pursue your purpose a different way. In fact, I’d be weird if you didn’t.
Nothing is meant to stay the same. What doesn’t evolve, dies.
Over to you, now. Which of these 5 truths about your life purpose do you wish someone had told you sooner? Let me know in the comments below.