Are you playing the victim in your business?

I’m not proud of it, but when I first started my business, I was in full victim mode.

Back then, I was working 12 hours a day trying to do all the things that I was told would get me clients. I was posting on Instagram daily, reaching out to my network, writing blog posts… You name it, I did it.

And… crickets.

I barely booked any discovery calls – and when I finally got on the phone with someone, they had a long list of excuses why they couldn’t work with me.

I felt so resentful. I was giving people so much free content and coaching sessions – and getting nothing in return! Instead of committed clients, I was attracting women who weren’t serious about taking action towards their goals.

Does this sound familiar? Are you too working hard and yet you’re only attracting people who aren’t ready to invest in you?

If so, you may be playing the victim too…

3 Ways Playing The Victim Sabotages Your Business

Playing the victim sabotages your business in several ways:

1. It attracts other victims to you: Like attracts like. If you’re always making excuses why you can’t invest in a coach, raise your prices, or work on the projects that interest you, you’re going to attract people who behave in the same way – and stay stuck and broke.
2. It repels money: The clients who have both the money and ability to pay your high prices don’t want to work with a victim. Your ideal clients are all around you, but right now, your energy is repelling them.
3. You give your power away: When you blame your clients, a bad economy, or anything outside your control, you believe you’re powerless and can’t make a change. You’re always waiting for other people and circumstances to change – and that never happens.

Related: Is Your Money Story Keeping You Broke?

How To Know You’re Playing The Victim

We all play the victim from time to time – it’s human nature. It’s just hard to see it for yourself. Here are a few signs you’re playing the victim instead of being a boss:

1. You’re Not Taking Responsibility

The first question to ask yourself is: am I blaming others for my current circumstances?

Back when I was struggling to attract clients, I blamed it on a global pandemic that made people reluctant to spend money, on potential clients that weren’t committed enough to invest, on social media platforms that hid my posts from my followers… The whole word was against me!

Feeling powerless to change your circumstances and blaming other people are two tell tale signs of victimhood.

When you focus on what’s outside of your control, you’re off the hook. You get sympathy from other people and you don’t have to do anything to change your circumstances.

You also stay stuck where you are. If you want to go to the next level in your business, you get to take responsibility for the only thing you can control in every circumstance: you.

No matter what you’re going through, there’s always something you can do to make a positive change. Are you willing to do it?

Related: Who Do You Need To Become To Build Your Dream Business?

2. You Believe The World Is A Bleak Place

Another sign you’re playing the victim is seeing the world as a bleak place.

At the time I’m writing this, we just got out a global pandemic, we’re in the middle of an energy crisis, and the UK is entering a recession. Pretty much every other country in the world has its problems too.

It’s easy to see everything bleak and buy into the excuse that people don’t have the money to buy your services – even when you greatly discount them.

BUT… at the same time this is going on, there are women building thriving businesses and reaching 7-figures. There are more millionaires in the world right now than there have ever been. There are women who find the money to invest because they know it’s going to support them to reach their goals.

My own coach, the amazing Florence Andrews, went from almost losing her home at the beginning of the pandemic to close to 6-figures in 2 years. That’s the company I want to keep. She reminds me of what’s possible when you don’t buy into “the world is a bleak place” and you keep going for your dreams no matter what.

Who are you surrounding yourself with?

This may piss you off, BUT surrounding yourself with people who make excuses not to invest or pursue their dreams is a way for you to keep playing small.

As long as you tell yourself people don’t have the money to invest in this economy, that you can’t reach six figures, that what you want isn’t realistic, then you don’t have to get out of your comfort zone and take action – and face that fears that come along with it.

3. You Believe Everything Is Happening To You

When something bad happens to you, do you take it as a sign that everyone is against you and that you’re not meant to do this?

When people kept saying no to working with me at the beginning of my business, I couldn’t understand why it was happening. If this was my calling, shouldn’t it be easy? I started blaming the global pandemic, the unfair IG algorithm, heck even the universe…

When you believe there’s no rhyme or reason for what happens to you, it’s easy to fall into victim mode and feel powerless to make a change.

It wasn’t until my coach said, “the bigger the challenge, the bigger the reward,” that I realised this was happening FOR me, not TO me.

Your challenges are an opportunity for growth. They’re not here to punish you. They’re here to make you stronger, teach you powerful lessons, and shape you into the person who can achieve your goals.

When I stepped into responsibility, I realised the people pleaser in me was buying into people’s stories of why they couldn’t invest in my services. This challenge was here to help me heal my people pleasing tendencies so I could help them overcome their excuses and finally take steps towards their goals.

When I was willing to pay the price of people not liking me and started challenging their excuses, clients started coming in – and they were grateful I believed in them so much to take a stand for their dreams.

4. You Believe You Don’t Have The Money/Time/Resources To Achieve Your Dreams

Newsflash: most people don’t have the money under the mattress to invest in a coach, connections with big influencers, or even supportive friends who encourage them to take risks.

Waiting to have everything lined up before you take action is a way to play the victim.

“I would, if only I could…”

As long as you believe you can’t make it happen, you won’t take action. Now you’re off the hook and don’t have to get out of your comfort zone.

If you truly desire something, there’s always a way to make it happen. You can find a way to make the money, get the connections, come up with whatever you need.

When I enrolled in my first online course to grow my business, I didn’t have all the money in my bank account. I had enough for the first payment and I trusted that, once I started implementing what I learned, the money would come – and it did. I made my investment back within a few weeks – and double my income within 3 months!

Not having all the resources already available isn’t an excuse to quit. It’s an opportunity to get creative and resourceful.

P.S. What you put out in the world is what comes back to you. If you believe you don’t have the money or resources to invest in your business, you’re going to attract people who’ll have the same excuses not to invest in you. If you want to support your potential clients in making their dreams come true, you get to be the example and show them how to be resourceful.

Related: Why “I Don’t Have Time” Is Just An Excuse

How To Stop Playing The Victim In Your Business

All the victimhood signs I’ve shared above have one thing in common: they’re stories you’re telling yourself.

When you’re in victim mode, you bought into the story the world is a bad place, or that you’ll never have all the money and resources you need to make your dreams come true, or that other people are to blame for your circumstances.

You’re telling yourself a story based on lack. The way out is to rewrite your story based on abundance and focus on what you want to create.

Related: Stop Focusing On What You DON’T Want (And What To Do Instead)

Wrapping It Up

When you stop playing the victim and start taking full responsibility for everything that’s happening in your business, you’re going to see a huge shift in the clients, opportunities, and money you’re attracting.

With love,

Giorgia x

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