How do you make the right decision when your head and your heart don’t agree?
I hear this from clients all the time…
🔵 I want to pivot my business, but I’m scared of losing all my clients and be broke. Should I just play it safe and keep doing what I’m doing?
🔵 I don’t know which ideal client to choose. If I narrow it down too much, will I have enough customers?
🔵 I don’t know which strategy to use to get to 6+ figures. There are so many things I could be doing. How do I know which one is the right one?
And yet, when I ask a few key questions, they always mention in passing what they want to do – only to come up with all kinds of reasons why it’s not a good idea in the next breath.
If you have the answer deep down, why does your mind keep talking you out of it?
And what do you do when your head and your heart don’t agree? Do you listen to your gut and go for it, even if it sounds crazy, or do you listen to your head and do the sensible thing, even if it kills you inside?
It’s the old logic vs intuition debate. It’s also a false dichotomy. The best decisions are made when both your head and your heart agree. So how do you make them get along? Here’s how to make the right decision every time:
The Logic VS Intuition Dilemma
Your brain and your heart have two different types of intelligence.
Your brain uses logic. It considers all the pros and cons of a decision, evaluates every possible scenario, and looks out for all sorts of threats. Its natural programming values safety and comfort above all else. That’s the criteria it uses to make decisions.
Your heart uses your intuition. Your intuition doesn’t care if something isn’t sensible, practical, or uncomfortable. It values passion, fulfilment, authenticity, going for your dreams. It makes decision based on what’s meant for you and possible for you.
Your brain wants to protect you from all the things that could go wrong if you take the plunge and do that thing that excites you and scares you at the same time.
Your heart wants to encourage you to build the 6+ figures business you’ve always dreamed of.
Which one are you going to listen to? Do you want to stay safe or do you want to build your 6+ figures business your way, doing the work you’re meant to do in the world?
You’re NOT Confused. You’re Scared.
Deep down, your heart always has the answer. You know what the right decision is, what pulls at you. It’s when you ignore what your heart is telling you and try to make decisions with your sensible head that you get confused.
Here’s what’s happening. Your heart is making the decision based on what excites you and what’s possible for you. It doesn’t care if you don’t know how to do something right now or what could go wrong. It knows that you’re more than capable of figuring it all out and reaching your big business and income goals.
But then, as soon your heart makes the decision, your sensible brain starts pointing out all the potential risks and all the things that may possibly one day maybe go wrong. Your brain does such a good job of scaring you with worse case scenarios, you starts second-guessing the decision your heart has already taken (your calling!), and you feel confused.
🤔 What if I don’t have what it takes?
🤔 What if I make a mistake?
🤔 What if I pivot my business and end up homeless? (Ah, the brain loves drama)
Fear sets in and now you’re wondering what the right decision is. If it were right, there would be no obstacles and no fears right? (I wish…)
Your brain has won. Its job is to protect you, remember? As long as it keeps you in a state of confusion, you won’t take action towards your dreams and risk judgment, criticism, and rejection.
You’ll be safe, but you’ll never have the 6+ figures business you’ve been dreaming of and the life of freedom and abundance that’s meant for you. Can you live with that?
The Real Decision Maker (It’s Not Your Brain)
We’ve got it backwards. Society teaches us to make decisions with our heads, to use logic. And yet… Have you noticed that every time you make a decision based on logic, you end up regretting it? Somehow, it never feels quite… right.
If you’re read this far, you know why: your brain makes decisions based on what will keep you safe and comfortable, not what will make you happy and fulfilled. It makes decisions based on fear of what could go wrong, not the excitement of what could go right.
Every decision based on fear is the WRONG decision.
Fear is no indicator of what’s possible for you. All those worst case scenarios it conjures up in your head almost never come true – and even if they did, you can handle it. You’re capable of much more than what your fear lets you believe.
Your heart knows this. It knows that you have what it takes to overcome every obstacle in your path and succeed. When you follow your desires, the universe will conspire to bring you the people, money, and resources to fulfil it. You don’t need to know where all that’s coming from. You just need to trust it will happen.
If you want to achieve the big business and income goals that excite you, ignore what society says. Ignore the fears your brain conjures up. Ignore everything that goes against that excitement and that feeling of “this is right in my gut”.
Your heart is the real decision maker. You make a decision based on your true desires and only then, you bring in you head to figure out the how and what that first step is. The mind is there to help you execute the decision, NOT to make it.
How To Make The Right Decision
Your heart already has all the answers. But when your mind has you all confused, it’s hard to hear it. If that’s happening, here’s some practical tools on how to make the right decision every time:
1. What’s Your Goal?
What’s your goal in making this decision? What’s the ideal outcome for you?
When I was trying to decide whether to pivot my skincare business into mindset coaching, my goal was to have a career that I absolutely loved. I wanted to do work that matters, use my gifts to help others, and wake up excited for the day ahead.
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do next, but I knew that freelance writing wouldn’t give me any of the things I wanted. If I stayed in that job, I would never achieve my ideal outcome. When you know what you want to get out of a decision, you can clearly see which choice will get you there.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Think of a decision you need to make. What’s the final outcome? What feeling or result do you want to get out of it? Get clear on that and you’ll see the choice most likely to get you there. Don’t second-guess it.
2. What Are Your Options?
Now you know where you want to go, make a list of all the ways that’ll get you there.
Humans tend to think in binary terms. For example, “I can either stay in my current niche or I can pivot my business to a different niche.”
When you push yourself to think outside the box, you’ll realise there are so many other possibilities. In this case:
- Stay in my current niche and wonder what if?
- Pivot business straight away.
- Stay in my current niche and slowly start introducing my new niche and offer until you attract an audience of customers excited by your new direction.
- Start a second business on the side in the new niche.
- Create a new offer in the new niche and test it out to a small group of customers to get feedback before I pivot officially.
I’m sure there are more. This is just what popped into my head. But you get the point. You always have more options than you think you do.
TAKE ACTION NOW
- When you’re trying to make a decision, jot down ALL possible options and scenarios. It doesn’t matter if you like them or not, if they seem possible or not. You’ll narrow down your list later. For now, step into possibility and jot down everything that comes to mind.
- Now go back to your goal. Which of these options will help you achieve your goal? Circles those that do and cross out the rest.
- For every option still left on your list, ask yourself: “Does this decision feel right in my heart?” If it does, it’s the right one. Follow it.
Related: Should You Follow Your Dreams Or Be Realistic?
3. What’s The Worst Thing That Can Happen?
For every scenario above, ask yourself “What’s the absolutely worst thing that could happen?”
Often, when you think of pivoting your business or taking any sort of risk, your mind conjures up all kinds of apocalyptic scenarios that would never come true – yet they feel 100% real to you. For example, the worst thing that could have happened if I had pivoted my business was to become homeless, live on the streets of London and lose all my friends.
When I started questioning this scenario, I realised there was zero chance of this happening. If things started to get bad, I could have gotten a 9-5 job to pay my bills. And, if they got really bad, I could have gone home to my parents until I got back on my feet.
Your mind’s job is to scare you back into your comfort zone. When you question that fear, you realise how unrealistic it is. There’s always something you can do to avoid that worst case scenario from happening.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Grab pen and paper and journal on these questions:
- What’s the worst case scenario that could happen if I followed my heart?
- How likely is this scenario to come true?
- If that worse case scenario happened, what would I do?
- If this fear came true, how would I get back on my feet?
The point of this exercise is to make you realise that your worst fears almost never come true – and if they do, there’s always something you can do to get back on your feet. You’re more capable than you give yourself credit for.
4. What’s The Best Case Scenario That Can Happen?
It’s human nature to focus on all the things that could go wrong. But, as you’ve seen, there’s no proof they’ll happen. They almost never do. Your best case scenario is just as likely to come true, if not more so. When you fully commit to your dreams, you’ll do everything it takes to make them happen.
It’s what you do every day that determines your reality. If you pivot your business and then wait for clients to magically find you, you will struggle financially. But, if you start your pivot and do everything you can think of every day to bring those clients in, you’ll get results – faster than you think too.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Grab pen and paper and journal on the best case scenario that could happen if you went for your dream:
- What goals would I achieve?
- What work would I do?
- What would my relationships be like?
- How would I feel every day?
- Where would I live?
- In what other ways would my life change for the better?
5. Who Else Will My Decision Impact?
Your decision never affect only you. They impact everyone around you. Your partner. Your family. Your friends. Make decisions wisely.
For every scenario, ask yourself, “how will it impact my loved ones?” Don’t think just about the money. Think of all the other ways your decisions impact your loved ones.
For example, it’s true that if I had pivoted my business point black, my partner would have had to step in and support me financially for a while. But if I stayed in that job, I may not have had a partner at all after a few months. No one likes to be with someone who’s always stressed, irritable, and taking her frustration out on others…
In my case, the best solution was to stay in my skincare business until I built up enough clients to go all in with may coaching business, so I could still pay for my rent and food AND be a much happier, calmer, more loving person to be around.
TAKE ACTION NOW
For every scenario, ask yourself:
- Who else is this decision going to affect?
- How is this decision going to affect them financially?
- How is this decision going to affect them emotionally?
- How is this decision going to affect their health?
- What effect is this decision going to have on my relationships?
Think about positive and negative effects. When you go after your dreams, EVERYONE benefits.
Related: How To Deal With Unsupportive Family Members
Wrapping It Up
The mind is the servant of the heart. The key to make the right decision is to follow your heart and true desires, and then bring the mind in to figure out how to execute the decision and plan for all the things that could go wrong. What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Have you tried all the business strategies to get more clients and make more money, but nothing’s working? If you’re ready to drop the hustle and work on the ONE thing that’s really going to get you the results you crave – your mindset -, book your FREE Breakthrough Call with me.
In the call, you will:
- Get 1:1 coaching to identify the missing piece to your business success, so you can get out of strategy hell, ditch the hustle, and book ideal clients with ease.
- A clear, aligned strategy to get out of your own way, step into your 6+ figures mindset, and scale your impact + income in 90 days.
- A simple step you can take immediately to get into aligned action, so you can make 2023 the year you finally reach those big income + biz goals that have eluded you up until now.
This is also an exclusive opportunity for service-based fempreneurs to ask me any questions you have, see if we’re a good fit to work together, and find out how I can support you in making 2023 the year you finally make it big.
Spaces are strictly limited. If you’re seeing this, there’s still a space for you. Click here to book your spot now.
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