How do you find your strengths? What are you really good at?
This question had been haunting me for months. My friends knew I was looking for my next career move and were pushing me to do something I was great at. Like being a personal assistant.
Makes sense, right? You sure won’t get hired for a job you have no skill for…
But there’s something about this advice that never sat well with me. It’s just… incomplete.
Finding your strengths is good advice. There’s a reason if you’re ridiculously good at something. It’s a gift you were given to share with the world and make it a better place.
But your strengths are not probably what you think they are. Here’s what I mean and how to find your strengths, gifts, and talents:
What’s A Strength?
Most people think a strength is something you’re really good at. That’s definitely a part of it. But it’s not the whole story. Here’s why:
Just because you’re good at something, it doesn’t mean you want to spend the rest of your life doing it.
I’m good at organization. I have all my files neatly organized in their colour coded folders, have set up a thousand labels for my emails, and have a checklist for everything.
All my friends, at some point or other, told me I’d be a good personal assistant or secretary. Never mind the very idea makes me want to puke…
No offence to all personal assistants out there. I have an amazing virtual assistant who helps me run The Treasures Within smoothly and I couldn’t imagine doing this without her.
It’s just that being a personal assistant is not my calling. To turn something you’re good at into a strength, you need a special ingredient: passion.
Here’s the magic recipe that makes up a strength:
- Talent: An ability you have a natural aptitude for. It either comes naturally to you or you learn it quickly without much effort.
- Passion: Something you care about and are dedicated to for the long haul.
- Action: The way you use your talent to pursue your passion. Because having a strength you don’t use is useless.
When you find your strengths, you know it. You’re both incredibly good at it and you love doing it so much, you could be doing it forever without much effort.
A strength isn’t a chore. It’s something you were born to do.
Why Is It So Hard To Find Your Strengths?
I believe each of us is on this planet for a reason. We’re all born with talents, passions, and gifts that help you fulfill your calling and do the work that only you can do.
As a young child, you know instinctively what these gifts are. You gravitate towards the things you like. You could spend hours kicking a ball, writing short stories, or coming up with science experiments.
In a perfect world, the adults in your life would encourage you to explore these talents and passions until they merge together to form a strength.
This is not a perfect world. The adults in your life are more interested in keeping you safe and make sure you have a job (any job) to pay the bills and survive than helping you find your calling.
You quickly learn that some strengths are more valuable than others. Being good at math trumps being creative. Studying science is better than studying history. Being a CEO is more glamorous than being a teacher.
You’re encouraged to pursue only those strengths with the highest potential to make you money… even when they make you miserable inside.
I know because I’ve been there. Writing is in my blood, yet for many years I’ve set this gift aside to develop other skills – like organization and learning foreign languages – that everyone told me would bring me more money.
Not only I never made much money, I was miserable all the time!
Maybe you’re making good money using your skills. But are you fulfilled? Do you wake up in the morning happy and excited to go to work?
If you answered no, chances are you’ve pursued the wrong strength, too.
P.S. Just because a skill isn’t a strength, doesn’t mean it’s wrong or useless. By all means, if you have a talent for something, develop it. Just don’t turn it into your business.
Related: How To Deal With Unsupportive Family Members
Why Do You Need To Find Your Strengths?
Because the world needs them.
This isn’t about you. It’s about the people you can help. The contribution you can make in the world.
You’re unique. There’s never been – and there never will be another you with your exact mix of passions, talents, and strengths.
You know what that means? No one else can do exactly what you do and help people in the exact same way.
If you don’t step up, find your strengths, and use them, who’s gonna help those people who are waiting for you?
Related: 5 Questions That’ll Help You Find Your Life Purpose
How To Find Your Strengths
So, how do you find your strengths?
It’s easier than you think. Your strengths have left a lot of clues behind over the years. Here’s how to uncover them and put the pieces of the puzzle together:
1. What Did You Like To Do When You Were A Child?
Your innate strengths and talents show up early in childhood. They’re the passions you’re naturally drawn to, the skills you master easily.
The things you did for the sheer joy of it – before society put ideas into your head about what’s cool or what pays the bills.
Whether you abandoned those strengths to focus on a “proper” job, you’re still pursuing them in your free time, or you’re a lucky unicorn that turned them into your business, your childhood passions can help you find your strengths.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Grab pen and paper and answer these questions:
- What did you spend hours doing as a child?
- What engrossed you to the point you were late for your family dinner?
- What were you obsessed about?
When I think back to my childhood, I see a clear pattern. From as long as I remember, I’ve been obsessed with words.
I’d read everything I could find and then write research papers on them (no, these weren’t school assignments!), pen short stories about what my toys were up to when I wasn’t looking, and put together a little magazine I’d distribute to my family. Oh, I kept a diary, too.
Books is how I learn new things. Writing is how I share my knowledge with other people and inspire them to improve their life.
Is it any wonder that when I became a coach, I started using blog posts to spread my message?
Related: What did you love to do as a child?
2. What Are You Incredibly Good At?
As you grew older, you honed some skills more than others.
Maybe your parents encouraged you to study languages and now you can speak French, German and Russian. Or you spent all your free time drawing illustrations. Or you pursued a degree in physics.
Maybe you did it just to please your parents. Or maybe you followed a passion. Either way, identifying these skills can help you separate your real strengths from the things you’re good at but don’t want to pursue further.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Grab pen and paper and answer these questions:
- What awards/medals (in any field) did you win?
- What certifications or degree do you have?
- What skills have you acquired in your current and previous jobs?
- What skills did you develop thanks to your hobbies?
For each skill on your list, ask yourself:
- How do I feel when I use this skill?
- Does it light me up? Do I love doing it? It’s likely a strength.
- Does it bore me? Does it feel like a chore? It’s NOT a strength.
P.S. A skill that’s not a strength is still useful. Just don’t turn it into a business.
Related: Why “I Don’t Have Any Experience” Is An Excuse
3. Ask Your Friends
Are you sitting here, thinking, “I’m not sure I have any strengths?”
You do. Everyone does. They’re just second nature to you, so you don’t see them as strengths.
You don’t realise that your knack for putting stunning outfits together, your witty way with words, or your ability to make hard calculations immediately in your mind are things other people struggle with.
When in doubt, ask your family and friends. They know you better than anyone else and will be able to point out lots of things you’re good at.
TAKE ACTION
Think of at least 5 friends who can give you honest feedback and ask them:
- What are some things you think I’m really good at?
- What are you struggling with that comes easily to me?
- What would you ask me for advice on?
If you’re too embarrassed to ask them in person, shoot them an email. Here’s a script you can follow:
Hi [NAME]!
I’m thinking of starting a new business and looking for the right idea to pursue.
My mentor advised me to ask my friends about what my 3 biggest strengths are, so of course I thought of you. I really value your opinion and would love to hear your thoughts on this:
What are some of the things I’m very good at? What would you come to me for advice for?
I know you’re busy, so I understand if you don’t have the time to reply.
If you could spare a few minutes and write a couple of lines with what comes to mind, I’d really appreciate it.
Thank you so much!
[Your name]
4. Take The Strengths Finder 2.0 Test
Did you know there are many tools out there to help you find your strengths? My fave is Strengths Finder 2.0.
FYI, this is a paid service, but it’s worth every cent (no, I don’t make a commission if you click on the link or use the service). Developed by researchers from the Gallup company, it helps you identify your 5 core strengths.
The report ranks these strengths in order of importance, describes what they are and how they can help you, and gives you a detailed list of actions you can take to make the most of them.
I’ll show you what that looks like. Here are my 5 top strengths, according to Strengths Finder 2.0:
- Context: You look at the past to understand and build a better future. You can use this strength to help people identify the actions that led to their current problems, so they can make better decisions in the future.
- Deliberative: Careful and vigilant, you consider every option and examine all the pros and cons before making a decision. This strengths help you see things that other people miss and reduce the risk of failure.
- Intellection: You’re very introspective and love to think, reflect, and ponder. You can use this strength to identify valuable insights that help you reach your goals better and faster.
- Learner: You love to learn and always want to improve yourself. It’s the process of learning, rather than the outcome, that excites you. You can use this strength to be an early adopter of new technologies, trends, and philosophies, and help them trickle down to those around you, so your knowledge can benefit them, too.
- Input: You love to collect and archive. You may accumulate ideas, information, artifacts, or even relationships. You can use this strength to collect info (or whatever) about a topic and share it to help others when the moment comes.
No wonder I became a coach and a writer!
TAKE ACTION NOW
Buy the book “Discover Your CliftonStrengths” or take the test online. Once you have your answers, implement the insights on how you can use your strengths to succeed in your business.
5. What Challenges Did You Overcome?
When I was younger, I suffered from depression.
At its worst, I spent weeks locked up in my bedroom, too scared to face another human being. During that period, I lost jobs. Friendships. Boyfriends.
What saved me was writing. I had stopped writing somewhere in my teens to focus on a “proper” job, never realising how much my soul needed it. As soon as I picked up my pen again, the colours slowly came back into my life.
The experience made me realise that, when you give up on your gifts and passions, your soul dies a bit every day.
This is why I’m so passionate about helping women find their calling and use their strengths to do the work only they can do in the world.
You can’t always see it when you’re going through it, but challenges are there to make you stronger and prepare you for the work you’re meant to do in the world.
TAKE ACTION NOW
Grab pen and paper and answer these questions:
- What challenges have you overcome in your life?
- What did the experience teach you?
- What skills/habits did you develop to overcome it?
- What mindset shifts did you adopt to overcome your challenge?
Related: How To Turn Your Struggles Into Your Multi-Passionate Business
Wrapping It Up
There are lots of ways to find your strengths. Go through them slowly and, when you find a strength that truly lights you up, pursue it with all you’ve got.
Still don’t know the work you’re meant to do, so you can build a wildly profitable business that allows you to do work you love, make more money than you ever thought possible, and achieve location and time freedom?
Click here to book your FREE Breakthrough Call with me to discover:
- What business you’re meant to build, based on your purpose and passions
- What’s really holding you back from building a wildly profitable business (it’s usually NOT what you think)
- The plan of action you need to move forward and reach your goals
You’ll come away from the call with crystal clear clarity + a plan of action to build the right business and finally achieve the life of unlimited freedom you’ve always craved.
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